Pisalnica
*b* THUNDERCLAN - CAUGHT BY TWO-LEGS PT. 1 *b*
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I trotted around my camp a little before getting on the rock. As Deputy I eyed my clanmates strictly ready too give out the Leaders wish too send the Patrols out . " Time too send out the patrols! " I yelled. The cats heads turned towards me. Apperently they we're looking foward too it. I picked the strongest cats and walked towards the exit, a few minutes after the patrols left. As I walked around the forest, something felt off.. A strange scent filled my nose. I stood frozen too my spot. I heard footsteps.. *i* " Oh no.. " *i* I thought. I turned around quickly, just too see two-legs. " EVERYONE, TWO-LEGS ARE HERE!- " But before I finished my sentence a two-leg grabbed me, covering my mouth so I couldn't alert my clanmates further. I bit the two-leg though he didn't let go. I saw tears in his eyes tho, I knew he was suffering pain from my sharp fangs. I glared at him. I got a good look at him meanwhile he was talking too his freind. He was quite young, probably 14 - 16 years old. I hissed fiercly before he stuffed me into a bag. I couldnt escape now.. " Dang it.. I should've just ran.. " I muttered. I fell a sleep, curling up. When I woke up, I was.. In a KittyPet house?.. I eyed the place disgusted , as The Warrior Code forbids a proud Warrior too accept the soft, lazy life of a KittyPet. A Large, Fluffy Calico Tom padded towards me. I raised a brow. He looked wild, not like a normal KittyPet. And soon, I figured I was right. " Greetings. Caught as well? " He asked coldly. I stayed silent " I suppose you we're. " I nodded shortly. " Names Mixed Splotch. I'm a WindClan warrior. " The cat said calmly. " How about you? " He asked me a small smile on his face " I'm Summer Leap, the Deputy of ThunderClan. " I spoke proudly. The Tom looked surprised at my unusually high position " Well then, I'm honoured too meet you. " He said bowing down. He stood back up immediatley tho " But we need too get outta here. Our clans need us. " I nodded and started looking around for an exit.
*i* TO BE CONTINUED.. *i*
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I trotted around my camp a little before getting on the rock. As Deputy I eyed my clanmates strictly ready too give out the Leaders wish too send the Patrols out . " Time too send out the patrols! " I yelled. The cats heads turned towards me. Apperently they we're looking foward too it. I picked the strongest cats and walked towards the exit, a few minutes after the patrols left. As I walked around the forest, something felt off.. A strange scent filled my nose. I stood frozen too my spot. I heard footsteps.. *i* " Oh no.. " *i* I thought. I turned around quickly, just too see two-legs. " EVERYONE, TWO-LEGS ARE HERE!- " But before I finished my sentence a two-leg grabbed me, covering my mouth so I couldn't alert my clanmates further. I bit the two-leg though he didn't let go. I saw tears in his eyes tho, I knew he was suffering pain from my sharp fangs. I glared at him. I got a good look at him meanwhile he was talking too his freind. He was quite young, probably 14 - 16 years old. I hissed fiercly before he stuffed me into a bag. I couldnt escape now.. " Dang it.. I should've just ran.. " I muttered. I fell a sleep, curling up. When I woke up, I was.. In a KittyPet house?.. I eyed the place disgusted , as The Warrior Code forbids a proud Warrior too accept the soft, lazy life of a KittyPet. A Large, Fluffy Calico Tom padded towards me. I raised a brow. He looked wild, not like a normal KittyPet. And soon, I figured I was right. " Greetings. Caught as well? " He asked coldly. I stayed silent " I suppose you we're. " I nodded shortly. " Names Mixed Splotch. I'm a WindClan warrior. " The cat said calmly. " How about you? " He asked me a small smile on his face " I'm Summer Leap, the Deputy of ThunderClan. " I spoke proudly. The Tom looked surprised at my unusually high position " Well then, I'm honoured too meet you. " He said bowing down. He stood back up immediatley tho " But we need too get outta here. Our clans need us. " I nodded and started looking around for an exit.
*i* TO BE CONTINUED.. *i*
Odgovori:
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
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Hm, zanimiva zgodba
1
Zabaven odgovor
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Dober odgovor
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Hej!
Sicer ne vem kaj so te Warrior cats, kakorkoli, ampak kontekst za zgodbo imaš dober. Kakor sem opazila čase pravilno postavljaš, slovničnih napak ni... Me pa zanima ali si dala to v translate, ali zares znaš toliko angleško? Ker toliko še jaz ne znam:joy: Lahko daš naslednjič še slovenski prevod zraven, da vidim kako ti gre pravopis in opisovanje, časovi v slovenščini? Hvala, če boš :D
Drugače se mi pa zdi, da si zelo napredovala od kakšne druge tvoje zgodbe :D
Lp,
~dragon girl
Sicer ne vem kaj so te Warrior cats, kakorkoli, ampak kontekst za zgodbo imaš dober. Kakor sem opazila čase pravilno postavljaš, slovničnih napak ni... Me pa zanima ali si dala to v translate, ali zares znaš toliko angleško? Ker toliko še jaz ne znam:joy: Lahko daš naslednjič še slovenski prevod zraven, da vidim kako ti gre pravopis in opisovanje, časovi v slovenščini? Hvala, če boš :D
Drugače se mi pa zdi, da si zelo napredovala od kakšne druge tvoje zgodbe :D
Lp,
~dragon girl
0
Hvala, vse sem si sama izmislila :D
Verjemi, slovničnih napak je bilo velik, vsakič pred tem ko grem neki objavit grem preverit če je kaj napak. Ko jih popravim in grem še enkrat čez potem pa res objavim lol
Aha no angleščina je moj drugi jezik saj sem pol Filipinka ( na Filipinih govorijo filipinsko & angleško ) zato nisem imela problemov in nisem dala v translate
Torej ja zelo veliko angleščine znam :>
Saj ko končam zgodbo bom dala še ves slovenski prevod ^^
Hvala, vem da napredujem, že nekaj časa vadim pisanje zgodb v svojem prostem času :)
Verjemi, slovničnih napak je bilo velik, vsakič pred tem ko grem neki objavit grem preverit če je kaj napak. Ko jih popravim in grem še enkrat čez potem pa res objavim lol
Aha no angleščina je moj drugi jezik saj sem pol Filipinka ( na Filipinih govorijo filipinsko & angleško ) zato nisem imela problemov in nisem dala v translate
Torej ja zelo veliko angleščine znam :>
Saj ko končam zgodbo bom dala še ves slovenski prevod ^^
Hvala, vem da napredujem, že nekaj časa vadim pisanje zgodb v svojem prostem času :)
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
Odgovor
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To je noro dobro! Tudi jaz sem pomislila, da si dala v translate, ker je napisano v tako dobri angleščini. Podpiram te in prosim nadaljuj. Me lahko obveščaš?
Lp, Ilovemusic:musical_note:
Lp, Ilovemusic:musical_note:
0
Zabaven odgovor
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Super odgovor
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Odgovor
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Ojla Hiroshi!
Sem prebrala prvi del tvoje zgodbe in moram rečt, da od igrice nisem pričakovala tako dobre zgodbice :D Tvoja angleščina je res pohvalna! Všeč mi je, da si človeka opisala kot two-legs, in ne kot human, ker je veliko bolj ''izvirno'' :D Pač uglavnem zgodba je res super ampak malo napakic pa mislim da sem našla ;)
Nekajkrat si napisala too, ko je bilo pravilno samo to. Too je mišljeno kot tudi npr. I ate my lunch and my breakfast too. <--- Too je tudi. To pa nevem kako bi razložila... Ti bom dala kar en primer povedi iz besedila: Time too send out the patrols! --> tukaj bi bil pravilen to. Čas je za odhod patrol (al neki takega) ;) (Drugače angleščino sem se učila samo v šoli in preko drugih stvari, nikoli je nisem prav govorila, zato je možno da se motim...
Pa še ena majhna napakica je ---> I suppose you we're. ----> we're je okrajšava za we are. Mislim, da si hotela dati were, kar je bila. Toraj: sklepam, da si bila (ujeta)
To je to ;) Če ne je zgodba superca, res si me presenetila z tvojimi sposobnostmi :D
Ly,
GG
Sem prebrala prvi del tvoje zgodbe in moram rečt, da od igrice nisem pričakovala tako dobre zgodbice :D Tvoja angleščina je res pohvalna! Všeč mi je, da si človeka opisala kot two-legs, in ne kot human, ker je veliko bolj ''izvirno'' :D Pač uglavnem zgodba je res super ampak malo napakic pa mislim da sem našla ;)
Nekajkrat si napisala too, ko je bilo pravilno samo to. Too je mišljeno kot tudi npr. I ate my lunch and my breakfast too. <--- Too je tudi. To pa nevem kako bi razložila... Ti bom dala kar en primer povedi iz besedila: Time too send out the patrols! --> tukaj bi bil pravilen to. Čas je za odhod patrol (al neki takega) ;) (Drugače angleščino sem se učila samo v šoli in preko drugih stvari, nikoli je nisem prav govorila, zato je možno da se motim...
Pa še ena majhna napakica je ---> I suppose you we're. ----> we're je okrajšava za we are. Mislim, da si hotela dati were, kar je bila. Toraj: sklepam, da si bila (ujeta)
To je to ;) Če ne je zgodba superca, res si me presenetila z tvojimi sposobnostmi :D
Ly,
GG
0
Moj odgovor:
skip, skip🐢
potrebuje pomoč ali nasvet v
Svetovalnica
Skincare and makeup trendi
Hej!!!
Sem ful obsedena z skincare and makeup trendi pač govorimo o Drunk elephant, Glow recipe, Bubble,Charlotte tilbury, Rare beauty, Elf, Gisou,Sol de janeiro....that things__in pač js sm premejhna za to in mi starši itak nebi dovolil če jih bi vprašala ampak nevem a naj jih?? In če bi jih, kakšna bo njuna reakcija??
Vesela bom odgovorov:blush:
Lp. skip,skip:turtle:
Sem ful obsedena z skincare and makeup trendi pač govorimo o Drunk elephant, Glow recipe, Bubble,Charlotte tilbury, Rare beauty, Elf, Gisou,Sol de janeiro....that things__in pač js sm premejhna za to in mi starši itak nebi dovolil če jih bi vprašala ampak nevem a naj jih?? In če bi jih, kakšna bo njuna reakcija??
Vesela bom odgovorov:blush:
Lp. skip,skip:turtle:
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hej mam recept kako naredis nekaj ko te previč ...
fuuul suprr je!!!! lovam:kissing_heart::sparkling_heart::sparkles::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:. ...
iii full lepo men je najbolj vsec tretja:smiley::relaxed:
super ...
ful nice