If only it was all a bad dream. If only I could wake up and realize it’s Friday, time to go to work. If only I was still my old self.
But no matter how hard I wanted it to be true, I was still who I was now. A corpse. Life disappointed me once again.
…
Since… since my brother died, I was living in my own world. Like Circus Baby said – make-believe. A perfect world, where I was I a perfect boy with a perfect family and nothing wrong ever happened. Where William wasn’t a murderer and my mom was still with us. Where people around me didn’t die all the time. It was a place to escape the truth I couldn’t handle myself. A place that was stopping me from ending it all. But it always felt so fake, so fragile… too good to be true. I eventually abandoned it and never returned. I didn’t want to lose them again.
…
I was still standing on the sidewalk. I didn’t plan for this to happen… I needed time to think. I couldn’t just stay there, though. I had to hide.
It was the only option. People probably called the police already. I looked at my house – not so far away. Could I even walk? The answer was- barely. I tried, but I collapsed after the first step. I couldn’t stop now, not really. I got back up. I could make it.
Step by step, I got to my house. I opened the door and collapsed inside. I didn’t bother to close the door. Did it even matter? And what was the point of getting here? I could’ve stayed on the street and waited for the cops. But that would mean giving up. What would happen if I did that? They’d probably force me to tell them everything. If they found out I was Afton’s son, I’d have to explain that too. I hated him, but even then, I wouldn’t betray him. Ever.
I crawled inside and locked the door. Was this what my life’s going to be until I die? Hiding in my house, hoping nobody comes to investigate? I didn’t see any other scenario back then. Probably. But how long would that be?
years and years and years
Was that how Elizabeth felt? Trapped in Baby’s body, with limited control? She was trapped there for 20 years. The other missing children too… in the letter, he mentioned that he was already dead. But did “being dead” also mean “being gone”?
No. Not for us.
I sat up and looked around. It was good having my senses back. Dull, but they were here. I smiled a little at the thought. How? No idea. My emotions were still there, as “good” as always.
Even though it felt wrong, I forced myself up and slowly walked over to the mirror. I tripped halfway through. Expected it anyways. I wasn’t to walking anymore. It took me ages to get to the mirror and when I did, a part of me wished I didn’t. I hesitated. But- how bad could it really be?
I looked up.
…
Really bad.
I knew why my neighbors were scared. I looked like, well, a corpse. My skin gained a dark purple color. It was torn at places, exposing the wires underneath. My shirt was soaked with my own blood. I touched it – it felt like it dried a while ago. I was going to take it off eventually. Its left sleeve was torn off, exposing my arm – or whatever was left of it. It was nothing but a mess of wires, left behind by Them. My face was… weird. No shit. I clawed my eye out a while ago. The right side of my face was darker and covered in scars, but something else was off about it too… my eyes weren’t there. But still. They were glowing… slightly purple.
I sat down, thinking. If I wanted to get out, I’d have to hide all of it. Sure, I could wear a hoodie, but my face was still visible, right? I would have to find something to cover it. A mask?
An awful idea crossed my mind. No way I’m going back.
…
The sky was dark, the lights in the houses were off. Nobody was around to see me.
This was a crazy idea. I could barely walk, how did I think I can drive a car? And how will I know how to get there? I haven’t been there in, what? Over 10 years? Yeah. Twelve years.
Since I’ve last seen him.
only six since he died
I stepped outside and felt a cold breeze, just strong enough to blow my hair around. It was nice – I spent the past few days doing nothing but walking around the house, re-learning basic stuff. It was still kind of awkward, but at least I could do it.
I got in the car and thought again. Was this really the best idea? There are a ton of other options. But… this was the only safe one. This was the only other place I knew I could go.
I started the engine and drove away. The farther from my neighborhood I got, the safer I felt. Eventually, I took off my hood and opened the window, letting the wind blow my hair around. Driving was much easier than I thought it would be. I had no idea where I was going, but it felt right.
…
My father’s house, my childhood home; it was just as I remembered. I parked and got out. It felt good, being back here. Even with the terrible memories, it was still… my home.
I stepped inside. The inside of the house didn’t change either. I smiled – how could it change? Nobody lived here in 8 years. I went upstairs to my brother’s room. His Fredbear plush toy was on his bed, right where I left it the last time. I sat down, picked it up and remembered something again. William used the plush to monitor my brother when he wasn’t with him. It was like a walkie-talkie with a camera, disguised as a toy. He loved it. William always knew what was going on.
Always – that was it. Even after my brother died, he had it with him. What if... even then…
What if he had it with him when he went to Freddy’s? It might still work.
He might still hear me.
I tried to find a switch, to turn it on, to do anything… but no success. My heart sank. Should I try anyways? Maybe just the lights in its eyes were broken. It’s been over twenty years, after all.
I took a deep breath.
…
“Father… It’s me, Michael. I did it. I found it. It was right where you said it would be. They were all there. They- didn’t recognize me at first, but then… they thought I was you. And I found her. I… put her back together, just like you asked me to. She’s free now. But something is wrong with me. I should be dead, but I’m not. I’ve been living in shadows. There’s only one thing left for me to do now. I’m going to come find you.”
My voice became more and more distorted as I said again.
“…I’m going to come find you.”
But no matter how hard I wanted it to be true, I was still who I was now. A corpse. Life disappointed me once again.
…
Since… since my brother died, I was living in my own world. Like Circus Baby said – make-believe. A perfect world, where I was I a perfect boy with a perfect family and nothing wrong ever happened. Where William wasn’t a murderer and my mom was still with us. Where people around me didn’t die all the time. It was a place to escape the truth I couldn’t handle myself. A place that was stopping me from ending it all. But it always felt so fake, so fragile… too good to be true. I eventually abandoned it and never returned. I didn’t want to lose them again.
…
I was still standing on the sidewalk. I didn’t plan for this to happen… I needed time to think. I couldn’t just stay there, though. I had to hide.
It was the only option. People probably called the police already. I looked at my house – not so far away. Could I even walk? The answer was- barely. I tried, but I collapsed after the first step. I couldn’t stop now, not really. I got back up. I could make it.
Step by step, I got to my house. I opened the door and collapsed inside. I didn’t bother to close the door. Did it even matter? And what was the point of getting here? I could’ve stayed on the street and waited for the cops. But that would mean giving up. What would happen if I did that? They’d probably force me to tell them everything. If they found out I was Afton’s son, I’d have to explain that too. I hated him, but even then, I wouldn’t betray him. Ever.
I crawled inside and locked the door. Was this what my life’s going to be until I die? Hiding in my house, hoping nobody comes to investigate? I didn’t see any other scenario back then. Probably. But how long would that be?
years and years and years
Was that how Elizabeth felt? Trapped in Baby’s body, with limited control? She was trapped there for 20 years. The other missing children too… in the letter, he mentioned that he was already dead. But did “being dead” also mean “being gone”?
No. Not for us.
I sat up and looked around. It was good having my senses back. Dull, but they were here. I smiled a little at the thought. How? No idea. My emotions were still there, as “good” as always.
Even though it felt wrong, I forced myself up and slowly walked over to the mirror. I tripped halfway through. Expected it anyways. I wasn’t to walking anymore. It took me ages to get to the mirror and when I did, a part of me wished I didn’t. I hesitated. But- how bad could it really be?
I looked up.
…
Really bad.
I knew why my neighbors were scared. I looked like, well, a corpse. My skin gained a dark purple color. It was torn at places, exposing the wires underneath. My shirt was soaked with my own blood. I touched it – it felt like it dried a while ago. I was going to take it off eventually. Its left sleeve was torn off, exposing my arm – or whatever was left of it. It was nothing but a mess of wires, left behind by Them. My face was… weird. No shit. I clawed my eye out a while ago. The right side of my face was darker and covered in scars, but something else was off about it too… my eyes weren’t there. But still. They were glowing… slightly purple.
I sat down, thinking. If I wanted to get out, I’d have to hide all of it. Sure, I could wear a hoodie, but my face was still visible, right? I would have to find something to cover it. A mask?
An awful idea crossed my mind. No way I’m going back.
…
The sky was dark, the lights in the houses were off. Nobody was around to see me.
This was a crazy idea. I could barely walk, how did I think I can drive a car? And how will I know how to get there? I haven’t been there in, what? Over 10 years? Yeah. Twelve years.
Since I’ve last seen him.
only six since he died
I stepped outside and felt a cold breeze, just strong enough to blow my hair around. It was nice – I spent the past few days doing nothing but walking around the house, re-learning basic stuff. It was still kind of awkward, but at least I could do it.
I got in the car and thought again. Was this really the best idea? There are a ton of other options. But… this was the only safe one. This was the only other place I knew I could go.
I started the engine and drove away. The farther from my neighborhood I got, the safer I felt. Eventually, I took off my hood and opened the window, letting the wind blow my hair around. Driving was much easier than I thought it would be. I had no idea where I was going, but it felt right.
…
My father’s house, my childhood home; it was just as I remembered. I parked and got out. It felt good, being back here. Even with the terrible memories, it was still… my home.
I stepped inside. The inside of the house didn’t change either. I smiled – how could it change? Nobody lived here in 8 years. I went upstairs to my brother’s room. His Fredbear plush toy was on his bed, right where I left it the last time. I sat down, picked it up and remembered something again. William used the plush to monitor my brother when he wasn’t with him. It was like a walkie-talkie with a camera, disguised as a toy. He loved it. William always knew what was going on.
Always – that was it. Even after my brother died, he had it with him. What if... even then…
What if he had it with him when he went to Freddy’s? It might still work.
He might still hear me.
I tried to find a switch, to turn it on, to do anything… but no success. My heart sank. Should I try anyways? Maybe just the lights in its eyes were broken. It’s been over twenty years, after all.
I took a deep breath.
…
“Father… It’s me, Michael. I did it. I found it. It was right where you said it would be. They were all there. They- didn’t recognize me at first, but then… they thought I was you. And I found her. I… put her back together, just like you asked me to. She’s free now. But something is wrong with me. I should be dead, but I’m not. I’ve been living in shadows. There’s only one thing left for me to do now. I’m going to come find you.”
My voice became more and more distorted as I said again.
“…I’m going to come find you.”
Moj odgovor:
izcedek
potrebuje pomoč ali nasvet v
Svetovalnica
A je to normalno?
Življoo, sem dekle staro 13 let in imam eno vprašanje. Par dni nazaj sem si na snapchatu snepala z enim tipom, ki je 1 leto starejši od mene. Najprej sva se pogovarjala, ko pa je bilo že pozno in sem mislila iti spat, me je vprašal, ali sem že kdaj videla pen*s. Rekla sem mu, da še nisem in naj se ne dela norca iz mojih (ne)izkušenj. Rekel je da s tem ni nič narobe in me je vprašal, ali si želim videti njegovega. Nisem vedela, kaj narediti, bala sem se, da če bom rekla ne, da se bo nehal pogovarjati z mano. Na koncu sem mu le rekla ja. Ni minila niti sekunda in že sem prejela njegovo golo fotografijo. Nisem vedela kaj odpisati, tako da sem mu poslala samo obraz. Vprašal me je, če mu jaz ne bom ničesar poslala. Bala sem se, da se bo nehal pogovarjati z mano, če mu ne bom ničesar poslala, tako da sem mu poslala svoje nude. Izmenjevanje slik se je nadaljevalo pribljižno 10 min, na kar je iz mene pritekel ćuden izcedek prosojne/bele barve. Zdelo se mi je čudno, saj je bilo to prvič, da se mi je kaj takega zgodilo. Ker je bolj izkušen in sem mislila, da bi mi znal svetovati, sem mu le poslala sliko. To sliko je nato screenshotal in me čez nekaj sekund blokiral. Hodiva na isto šolo, zato me skrbi, da ne bi ta slika začela krožiti naokoli. Prosim pomagajte, kaj naj naredim.
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