PisalnicaFireheart - ToG
3
Heyy tokrat sem napisala pesem, ki je predvsem za tiste ki ste prebrali zbirko Stekleni prestol, vendar je tudi za druge. upam, da boste uživali. Sicer ima pesem tudi melodijo, ampak te žal ne morete slišati. Napišite mnenje spodaj in ne pozabite lajkati.
1. lyric:
She had a blade,
She was the best.
She never was afraid to being dead.
She watched blood
Crawl to the body.
Her smile was scary, when watch you deadly.
Chorus:
She's the killer, she's the queen.
Better than the world we live.
Fire hides deep in her heart,
Trying come out so hard.
Lost queen,
She's solving world.
Destroy the dark,
Expand the light
Bite through the night
And she never lose.
2. lyric:
Forget the crown,
Forget her name.
Become an assasin.
Bury secrets,
Change new name.
Hide behind the frame.
Bridge:
Pull me,
pull me in the dark
But i will always find the way to light
Push me,
Push me on the floor
But i will always push back harder.
I will always win.
Chorus:
She's the killer, she's the queen.
Better than the world we live.
Fire hides deep in her heart,
Trying come out so hard.
Lost queen,
She's solving world.
Destroy the dark
Expand the light.
Bite through the night
And she never lose.
She's a fireheart.
1. lyric:
She had a blade,
She was the best.
She never was afraid to being dead.
She watched blood
Crawl to the body.
Her smile was scary, when watch you deadly.
Chorus:
She's the killer, she's the queen.
Better than the world we live.
Fire hides deep in her heart,
Trying come out so hard.
Lost queen,
She's solving world.
Destroy the dark,
Expand the light
Bite through the night
And she never lose.
2. lyric:
Forget the crown,
Forget her name.
Become an assasin.
Bury secrets,
Change new name.
Hide behind the frame.
Bridge:
Pull me,
pull me in the dark
But i will always find the way to light
Push me,
Push me on the floor
But i will always push back harder.
I will always win.
Chorus:
She's the killer, she's the queen.
Better than the world we live.
Fire hides deep in her heart,
Trying come out so hard.
Lost queen,
She's solving world.
Destroy the dark
Expand the light.
Bite through the night
And she never lose.
She's a fireheart.
Odgovori:
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
Odgovor
Neprimeren odgovor
Nerazumljiv odgovor
Reees mi je všeč!! :blue_heart::heart::purple_heart::blue_heart::heart::purple_heart::trophy::medal:
0
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
Odgovor
Neprimeren odgovor
Nerazumljiv odgovor
.......Res mi je všeč! Čeprav je angleško mi je fuuuul všeč!!!:purple_heart: :blue_heart: :yellow_heart: 🧡 :green_heart: :blue_heart: :purple_heart:
0
Sicret girl
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
Odgovor
Neprimeren odgovor
Nerazumljiv odgovor
Prebrala in mi je zelo všeč.
Upam, da nisi jezna, ampak nekaj stvari bi te popravila:
She never was afraid to being dead. - afraid of being dead
when watch you deadly. - when she watched you deadly (ker si uporabila WAS, mora biti tudi drugi del stavka v pretekliku)
She's the killer, she's the queen. - namesto the, bi bilo bolj smiselno a killer (hočemo povedati *she's not kind* kot lastnost in ne določen osebek, če razumeš) pri queen si ustrezno uporabila the.
Destroy the dark
Expand the light.
Bite through the night. - lahko uporabiš raje s končnicami -ing, kot si to storila pri solving (expanding the light...), ampak *not big deal*
And she never lose. - nevem če ste se to že učili, ampak Present Perfect (dejanja so se zgodila, ni važen čas kdaj so se, trajajo tudi v sedanjosti in imajo rezultat), bi bolje vpadal: she has never lost.
Moram priznati, da si sama ne bi drznila napisati kaj takega, zato kapo dol :clap:.
Verzi so zelo dobro napisani in mi je žal, da ne morem slišati melodije :sweat:...
Prosim ne jemlji tega kot kritiko, ampak kot izpopolnitev in lektoriranje časov. Marsikdo od odraslih ne bi napisal tako dobro, zato si lahko ponosna sama nase.
Komaj čakam da preberem še kakšno tvojo pesem :thumbsup:.
Upam, da nisi jezna, ampak nekaj stvari bi te popravila:
She never was afraid to being dead. - afraid of being dead
when watch you deadly. - when she watched you deadly (ker si uporabila WAS, mora biti tudi drugi del stavka v pretekliku)
She's the killer, she's the queen. - namesto the, bi bilo bolj smiselno a killer (hočemo povedati *she's not kind* kot lastnost in ne določen osebek, če razumeš) pri queen si ustrezno uporabila the.
Destroy the dark
Expand the light.
Bite through the night. - lahko uporabiš raje s končnicami -ing, kot si to storila pri solving (expanding the light...), ampak *not big deal*
And she never lose. - nevem če ste se to že učili, ampak Present Perfect (dejanja so se zgodila, ni važen čas kdaj so se, trajajo tudi v sedanjosti in imajo rezultat), bi bolje vpadal: she has never lost.
Moram priznati, da si sama ne bi drznila napisati kaj takega, zato kapo dol :clap:.
Verzi so zelo dobro napisani in mi je žal, da ne morem slišati melodije :sweat:...
Prosim ne jemlji tega kot kritiko, ampak kot izpopolnitev in lektoriranje časov. Marsikdo od odraslih ne bi napisal tako dobro, zato si lahko ponosna sama nase.
Komaj čakam da preberem še kakšno tvojo pesem :thumbsup:.
1
Haha itak da ne kot kritiko. Samo to sem še rabila - da mi nekdo pove kaj je narobe, ker sem šele sedmi razred in nismo še jemali čisto vseh časov.
Sicer la hvala 😉💜💙💚💛🧡
Sicer la hvala 😉💜💙💚💛🧡
Moj odgovor:
pomagalčica
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