When you open your eyes and see a person you have always loved but never found, you smile even though you know it is only a distant memory.
When you close your eyes again, you feel pain and love for the person in your heart.
You start crying, but even though you know that crying won't help, you know that the person is no more, that he is in another world - the world of the dead.
You fall asleep again, but before you even think: I love you