Pisalnica
*b*FIST CHAPTER *b*(pt.2)
*modra*TWs for this chapter:*modra*
drugs, bullying, hate speech and slurs, arguing, family issues, mentions of: selfharm, suicide, smoking
______________________________
*b*Olivia *b*
When I wake up the world around me is dizzy. I sit up carefully. Every inch of my body is hurting. I check the time. I was unconscious for about five minutes. I know that people have passed by in that time, but they simply didn't care enough or even if they did, they were too afraid of Max's anger to help me.
Max was always a bully, but he was also always very popular. He used to be Aiden's best friend, but after Aiden came out, Max completely cut him off and made sure noone wanted to be his friend. And when me and Azar accepted Aiden in our group and supported him, he started taking his anger out on me. He would of course love to beat up Azar or Aiden, I know it, but Aiden is too strong for him and is basically never in school. And Azar on the other hand is so praised by the teachers that he would immediately get in trouble if he would attack them.
So I am the only option left. Aiden and Azar did everything to try and protect me, but I simply don't give enough fucks, for it to actually change anything.
After I'm sure I won't faint again, I slowly stand up. I take a deep breath and start walking home.
***
Ten minutes passes and I'm infront of my house.
I don't even have to step in and I already hear my parents. They're screaming and arguing.
I sigh. Dad is in town again, I realize. I quickly take my shoes of and try to sneak into my room. Unfortunately father notices me as I try to get pass the kitchen.
"Oliva, hey!"
I turn around and pressure a smile on my face. Dad frowns. Great. He saw how beat up I am. He turns to my mum. I know he's gonna put all the blame on her. Before I know it he's back to screaming.
"Don't you see what's happening to our daughter?! She's all beat up! And you do absolutely nothing about it! She should be living with me! And you should be happy that I'm not suing you!"
Mum answers right away, she's not holding back:
"You don't think I tried?! I sent her to every teraphist in this fucking country and she still tries to fucking kill herself! She's a selfish bitch!"
I bite my lip.
"And you think she would be better at yours!? You're a drunk! Or did you forgot how you used to hit us both when you still lived here?!"
"I changed! Liv, tell her! Tell her you want to live with me!"
I know very well that he didn't change a bit. And even tho my mum doesn't give two fucks about me, at least she doesn't hit me all the time. But I really don't want to anger dad even more, so I try and carefully choose my words:
"Dad, listen. I would love to live with you, but I really don't want to move. I have all my friends here. I really don't wanna leave them"
Room goes silent for a second and all I can hear was dad's, heavy, angry breathing. Finally, he says:
"So, that's how it is." He turnes around and leaves the house. He shuts the door behind him.
After the first shock mum smiles at me. She loves pretending that everything is OK now, when I took her side. It makes me sick to my stomach.
"Thanks, sweetie. I really appreciate this," she starts.
"You know I didn't mea-"
"Just fucking leave me alone," I interrupt her. I go upstairs to my room and slam the door.
I know she ment it. She always thought that I was selfish for trying to kill myself. And she is kinda right. She really did everything she could, but I simply don't want to be helped. I don't see any future for myself. I just want to live on alcohol and drugs, self harm when I feel like it and eat bearly enough, till it kills me before I turn 25.
I'm not saying that she's a good parent. As much as my dad abused me phisicly, she did mentally. But this time she was right.
I throw my bag on the floor of my room. I was planning on looking for Aiden, but I changed my mind.
I take my jacket, and put cigarettes, lighter and my wallet in its pocket. Then I open a drawer under my table and reach for a small plastic bag, filled with white powder. I quickly close the drawer and leave the house.
_______________________________
Helja, se opravičujem ker je tako dolgo trajalo, ampak tule je naslednji del:)
*modra*TWs for this chapter:*modra*
drugs, bullying, hate speech and slurs, arguing, family issues, mentions of: selfharm, suicide, smoking
______________________________
*b*Olivia *b*
When I wake up the world around me is dizzy. I sit up carefully. Every inch of my body is hurting. I check the time. I was unconscious for about five minutes. I know that people have passed by in that time, but they simply didn't care enough or even if they did, they were too afraid of Max's anger to help me.
Max was always a bully, but he was also always very popular. He used to be Aiden's best friend, but after Aiden came out, Max completely cut him off and made sure noone wanted to be his friend. And when me and Azar accepted Aiden in our group and supported him, he started taking his anger out on me. He would of course love to beat up Azar or Aiden, I know it, but Aiden is too strong for him and is basically never in school. And Azar on the other hand is so praised by the teachers that he would immediately get in trouble if he would attack them.
So I am the only option left. Aiden and Azar did everything to try and protect me, but I simply don't give enough fucks, for it to actually change anything.
After I'm sure I won't faint again, I slowly stand up. I take a deep breath and start walking home.
***
Ten minutes passes and I'm infront of my house.
I don't even have to step in and I already hear my parents. They're screaming and arguing.
I sigh. Dad is in town again, I realize. I quickly take my shoes of and try to sneak into my room. Unfortunately father notices me as I try to get pass the kitchen.
"Oliva, hey!"
I turn around and pressure a smile on my face. Dad frowns. Great. He saw how beat up I am. He turns to my mum. I know he's gonna put all the blame on her. Before I know it he's back to screaming.
"Don't you see what's happening to our daughter?! She's all beat up! And you do absolutely nothing about it! She should be living with me! And you should be happy that I'm not suing you!"
Mum answers right away, she's not holding back:
"You don't think I tried?! I sent her to every teraphist in this fucking country and she still tries to fucking kill herself! She's a selfish bitch!"
I bite my lip.
"And you think she would be better at yours!? You're a drunk! Or did you forgot how you used to hit us both when you still lived here?!"
"I changed! Liv, tell her! Tell her you want to live with me!"
I know very well that he didn't change a bit. And even tho my mum doesn't give two fucks about me, at least she doesn't hit me all the time. But I really don't want to anger dad even more, so I try and carefully choose my words:
"Dad, listen. I would love to live with you, but I really don't want to move. I have all my friends here. I really don't wanna leave them"
Room goes silent for a second and all I can hear was dad's, heavy, angry breathing. Finally, he says:
"So, that's how it is." He turnes around and leaves the house. He shuts the door behind him.
After the first shock mum smiles at me. She loves pretending that everything is OK now, when I took her side. It makes me sick to my stomach.
"Thanks, sweetie. I really appreciate this," she starts.
"You know I didn't mea-"
"Just fucking leave me alone," I interrupt her. I go upstairs to my room and slam the door.
I know she ment it. She always thought that I was selfish for trying to kill myself. And she is kinda right. She really did everything she could, but I simply don't want to be helped. I don't see any future for myself. I just want to live on alcohol and drugs, self harm when I feel like it and eat bearly enough, till it kills me before I turn 25.
I'm not saying that she's a good parent. As much as my dad abused me phisicly, she did mentally. But this time she was right.
I throw my bag on the floor of my room. I was planning on looking for Aiden, but I changed my mind.
I take my jacket, and put cigarettes, lighter and my wallet in its pocket. Then I open a drawer under my table and reach for a small plastic bag, filled with white powder. I quickly close the drawer and leave the house.
_______________________________
Helja, se opravičujem ker je tako dolgo trajalo, ampak tule je naslednji del:)
Odgovori:
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
Odgovor
Neprimeren odgovor
Nerazumljiv odgovor
super:heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:
0
.jpg "Dekle we can do this")
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
Odgovor
Neprimeren odgovor
Nerazumljiv odgovor
ahhh ne veš kako sem se veselila novega dela. res mi je všeč tvoj slog pisanja, pa tudi kljub temu, da sem že rekla, bom še enkrat povedala - zelo mi je všeč tema, ki si jo izbrala. se mi zdi, da zgodba ne dobi toliko prepoznavnosti tu, ker so vedno mlajši na pilu in tako težka tema ni zanje. ampak starejši med nami (predvsem pa tudi bolj zreli) pa zagotovo uživamo (upam, da ne govorim samo zase haha) tako da go on, ker me res zanima kako se bo odvilo, glede na to, da si omenila da si si blizu s temi temami in vem, da ti je jasno da zadeva ni rešena z enim obiskom pri psihologu :))
1
Hej, hvala, neveš koliko mi pomeni:)
Pa ja, vidim, da so tuka precej mlajši, zato bom pa tudi objavljala na Wattu.
S temami, pa ja sem si blizu in se mi je zdelo, da se veliko premalo o njih govori. Še posebej glede drog. Veliko prevelik je stereotip, da so ljudje, ki se drogirajo avtomatsko slabe osebe.
~Liv
Pa ja, vidim, da so tuka precej mlajši, zato bom pa tudi objavljala na Wattu.
S temami, pa ja sem si blizu in se mi je zdelo, da se veliko premalo o njih govori. Še posebej glede drog. Veliko prevelik je stereotip, da so ljudje, ki se drogirajo avtomatsko slabe osebe.
~Liv
ja... ker ljudje vidijo samo zadrogirano osebo, ki se vede čudno in je avtomatsko označijo za neodgovornega čudaka, nihče pa ne pomisli na razloge, ki so to osebo pripeljali v svet drog
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
Odgovor
Neprimeren odgovor
Nerazumljiv odgovor
naednji del takojjj js zivim za to zgodbooo
0
luv u
Moj odgovor:
Jelkic
potrebuje pomoč ali nasvet v
Svetovalnica
Js pa RES ne vem a je ona vame
jo
vrjamem da je na pili ze cel kup podobnih objav o ljubezni na to foro- a je vame, bla bla bla.. sam pr men je pomojem se useen mau drgac. Hear me out:
Začetek// Men je ena punca ratala ful usec prblizn junija tega leta. je moja paralelka oba sva 9 razred. no ja in glih pred koncem osmega razreda smo šli na en izlet z šolo k je bla ona tud tm, pa zravn je šu še en moj dobr prjatu. Na temu izletu sm njemu povedou da mi je ona ful lepa (pa tud personality pa res najbolsi!) in je on zaceu to tko na glas govort tm pred vsemi pa jo nekej zajebavat z mano, ampak nism biu jezn, actually mi je blo dobr da me je sploh opazila. no ampak pol je njej ta moj frend ratou ze mau nadlezn in je bla tko mal jezna name ker ga nism ustavu, pa me je sam vprasala Ce sm vanjo- pa sm reku da Ne (ja js sm retard).
Avgust// Poletne počitnce, nje nism vidu ze nekej časa ker sta njena starša ločena in je bla skoz pr drugmu staršu. No in en dan ona men piše nekej v zvezi če mam js nek problem z njo (ker so eni k jih poznam se neki skregal z njo). in sva se mal pogovarjala par dni pač kako kej lajf.. in pol sm jo vprašu če bi šla z mano na valeto? pa je najprej rekla ne- ker ji je ena njena prjatlca rekla da misl da sm v njo (kako je uganila). no ja in sm se ji spet mogu zlagat da nism vanjo in zdej greva na valeto! na plesnih (mi jih ze mamo) je use ful fajn supr. in zdej že ene dva mesca si tko vsak dan snepam z to punco in je ful fajn pa tko js probam bit dost flirty pa ona tud tko taka use complimente pa nikol ni blo nv narobe. No in ti sm itak povedu mojmu najbolsmu prjatlu in pol se reci pac širjo in je to tud zvedu un moj prjatu iz izleta k mi je blo cist ok sj sva šekr dobra prjatla, in pač zdej ene dva tedna tko govoril tej punci da je ona moj fan pa mal jo zajebava...
En teden nazaj// No ona mene vpraša na snepu zakaj ta moj prjatu skoz to govori pac zakaj misl da bi js pa ona lah bla skp. in mu pišem da ona sprašuje. in pol se pogovarjam z njemu pa realisava da wow da jo zanimajo razlogi da bi bla z mano?? no in pol ji recem da moj frend prau da bi zgledala k fletn parck. pa ona tko posle :skull:. in poj recem Zakaj te sploh to tok zanima a isces razloge zakaj bit z mano a kva haha. in ona reče Actually... in poj se "A se ti zdi da js iscem tipa? Pa zakaj ta tvoj prjatu sploh govori to men? Ker brez zamere sam js nism vate."
Včeraj// spet si snepam z njo zdej od takrt vsak dan o tem.. o ljubezni.. kaj sploh je ljubezen, kako je blo z njenmu prejsnmu (poznam ga pa vem vse podrobnosti pa pac on je neki silu vanjo pa ga je ona pustila in jo je strah spet).
Danes// pac snepava si cist normaln nc ni awkward ona mi ful zaupa pa reku sm ji da je to res sweet pa je rekla daj to cute..
------------
js sm res ful vanjo pa res ne vem a ona je vame a ni.. vsaj mal.. ne vem a sm sam zloo deep friendzoned al kej je?? ne vem al nej ji sploh povem da sm js vanjo pa sm pac cist iskren pa mogoc pol se ona pove po resnici ce je kej drugac? (sam ce res ni vame bom izpadu ful weird pa mogoc mau desparate pa se nocem zgubit njenga zaupanja.)
Al nej sam se cakam pa probam improvat sebe se mal pa se pogovarjat z njo cim vec (nism chopped sam bi lah zgledou bols).. pa se ona je mogoc mal nepredvidljiva pa tezko ves kaj res misl…
k sva govorila glih o prejsnjih njenih crushih pa to se je useen zdel k da je bla ona dost jasna z njimi kaj hoče.. pa vem se da skoz čaka da tip nrdi first move pa to.. tkoda nevem kaj zdej hahah
šekr mam dost upanja no nevem zakaj sam mam
Res hvala če ste to prebral, upam da če si to ti, ki te ljubim, ne bereš tega hahaha
pa zlo mi ke zou za te grozne slovnične napake, sj zarad mene dej ta text u chatgpt nej ti nrdi povzetek pa pravilno slovensko hahah
Gre za resnično zgodbo, deli so skrajšani, zato vprašaj za dodaten info brez problema.
Jelkic
(prosm ne gledat mojga profila k nism biu active pol leta :skull:)
vrjamem da je na pili ze cel kup podobnih objav o ljubezni na to foro- a je vame, bla bla bla.. sam pr men je pomojem se useen mau drgac. Hear me out:
Začetek// Men je ena punca ratala ful usec prblizn junija tega leta. je moja paralelka oba sva 9 razred. no ja in glih pred koncem osmega razreda smo šli na en izlet z šolo k je bla ona tud tm, pa zravn je šu še en moj dobr prjatu. Na temu izletu sm njemu povedou da mi je ona ful lepa (pa tud personality pa res najbolsi!) in je on zaceu to tko na glas govort tm pred vsemi pa jo nekej zajebavat z mano, ampak nism biu jezn, actually mi je blo dobr da me je sploh opazila. no ampak pol je njej ta moj frend ratou ze mau nadlezn in je bla tko mal jezna name ker ga nism ustavu, pa me je sam vprasala Ce sm vanjo- pa sm reku da Ne (ja js sm retard).
Avgust// Poletne počitnce, nje nism vidu ze nekej časa ker sta njena starša ločena in je bla skoz pr drugmu staršu. No in en dan ona men piše nekej v zvezi če mam js nek problem z njo (ker so eni k jih poznam se neki skregal z njo). in sva se mal pogovarjala par dni pač kako kej lajf.. in pol sm jo vprašu če bi šla z mano na valeto? pa je najprej rekla ne- ker ji je ena njena prjatlca rekla da misl da sm v njo (kako je uganila). no ja in sm se ji spet mogu zlagat da nism vanjo in zdej greva na valeto! na plesnih (mi jih ze mamo) je use ful fajn supr. in zdej že ene dva mesca si tko vsak dan snepam z to punco in je ful fajn pa tko js probam bit dost flirty pa ona tud tko taka use complimente pa nikol ni blo nv narobe. No in ti sm itak povedu mojmu najbolsmu prjatlu in pol se reci pac širjo in je to tud zvedu un moj prjatu iz izleta k mi je blo cist ok sj sva šekr dobra prjatla, in pač zdej ene dva tedna tko govoril tej punci da je ona moj fan pa mal jo zajebava...
En teden nazaj// No ona mene vpraša na snepu zakaj ta moj prjatu skoz to govori pac zakaj misl da bi js pa ona lah bla skp. in mu pišem da ona sprašuje. in pol se pogovarjam z njemu pa realisava da wow da jo zanimajo razlogi da bi bla z mano?? no in pol ji recem da moj frend prau da bi zgledala k fletn parck. pa ona tko posle :skull:. in poj recem Zakaj te sploh to tok zanima a isces razloge zakaj bit z mano a kva haha. in ona reče Actually... in poj se "A se ti zdi da js iscem tipa? Pa zakaj ta tvoj prjatu sploh govori to men? Ker brez zamere sam js nism vate."
Včeraj// spet si snepam z njo zdej od takrt vsak dan o tem.. o ljubezni.. kaj sploh je ljubezen, kako je blo z njenmu prejsnmu (poznam ga pa vem vse podrobnosti pa pac on je neki silu vanjo pa ga je ona pustila in jo je strah spet).
Danes// pac snepava si cist normaln nc ni awkward ona mi ful zaupa pa reku sm ji da je to res sweet pa je rekla daj to cute..
------------
js sm res ful vanjo pa res ne vem a ona je vame a ni.. vsaj mal.. ne vem a sm sam zloo deep friendzoned al kej je?? ne vem al nej ji sploh povem da sm js vanjo pa sm pac cist iskren pa mogoc pol se ona pove po resnici ce je kej drugac? (sam ce res ni vame bom izpadu ful weird pa mogoc mau desparate pa se nocem zgubit njenga zaupanja.)
Al nej sam se cakam pa probam improvat sebe se mal pa se pogovarjat z njo cim vec (nism chopped sam bi lah zgledou bols).. pa se ona je mogoc mal nepredvidljiva pa tezko ves kaj res misl…
k sva govorila glih o prejsnjih njenih crushih pa to se je useen zdel k da je bla ona dost jasna z njimi kaj hoče.. pa vem se da skoz čaka da tip nrdi first move pa to.. tkoda nevem kaj zdej hahah
šekr mam dost upanja no nevem zakaj sam mam
Res hvala če ste to prebral, upam da če si to ti, ki te ljubim, ne bereš tega hahaha
pa zlo mi ke zou za te grozne slovnične napake, sj zarad mene dej ta text u chatgpt nej ti nrdi povzetek pa pravilno slovensko hahah
Gre za resnično zgodbo, deli so skrajšani, zato vprašaj za dodaten info brez problema.
Jelkic
(prosm ne gledat mojga profila k nism biu active pol leta :skull:)
Vprašanje
Kako ocenjuješ rubriko Šport?
Všeč mi je takšna, kot je.
(41)
Raje kot novičke bi imel/a članek, ki se posveti enemu športu posebej.
(17)
Šport me na sploh ne zanima.
(24)
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ooo ful dobr bom spremlala pa the fact da ...
res:kissing_heart::relieved::relaxed::upside_down::kissing_closed_eyes::blush::grinning::g
uuu, bom brala z veseljem
Fuuuul dooobrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Spremljam!!!!!!:grinning::hugging::hugging::grinning::grinni
O koook dobr pa lepooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::cla