Pisalnica
*b*FIST CHAPTER *b*(pt.2)
*modra*TWs for this chapter:*modra*
drugs, bullying, hate speech and slurs, arguing, family issues, mentions of: selfharm, suicide, smoking
______________________________
*b*Olivia *b*
When I wake up the world around me is dizzy. I sit up carefully. Every inch of my body is hurting. I check the time. I was unconscious for about five minutes. I know that people have passed by in that time, but they simply didn't care enough or even if they did, they were too afraid of Max's anger to help me.
Max was always a bully, but he was also always very popular. He used to be Aiden's best friend, but after Aiden came out, Max completely cut him off and made sure noone wanted to be his friend. And when me and Azar accepted Aiden in our group and supported him, he started taking his anger out on me. He would of course love to beat up Azar or Aiden, I know it, but Aiden is too strong for him and is basically never in school. And Azar on the other hand is so praised by the teachers that he would immediately get in trouble if he would attack them.
So I am the only option left. Aiden and Azar did everything to try and protect me, but I simply don't give enough fucks, for it to actually change anything.
After I'm sure I won't faint again, I slowly stand up. I take a deep breath and start walking home.
***
Ten minutes passes and I'm infront of my house.
I don't even have to step in and I already hear my parents. They're screaming and arguing.
I sigh. Dad is in town again, I realize. I quickly take my shoes of and try to sneak into my room. Unfortunately father notices me as I try to get pass the kitchen.
"Oliva, hey!"
I turn around and pressure a smile on my face. Dad frowns. Great. He saw how beat up I am. He turns to my mum. I know he's gonna put all the blame on her. Before I know it he's back to screaming.
"Don't you see what's happening to our daughter?! She's all beat up! And you do absolutely nothing about it! She should be living with me! And you should be happy that I'm not suing you!"
Mum answers right away, she's not holding back:
"You don't think I tried?! I sent her to every teraphist in this fucking country and she still tries to fucking kill herself! She's a selfish bitch!"
I bite my lip.
"And you think she would be better at yours!? You're a drunk! Or did you forgot how you used to hit us both when you still lived here?!"
"I changed! Liv, tell her! Tell her you want to live with me!"
I know very well that he didn't change a bit. And even tho my mum doesn't give two fucks about me, at least she doesn't hit me all the time. But I really don't want to anger dad even more, so I try and carefully choose my words:
"Dad, listen. I would love to live with you, but I really don't want to move. I have all my friends here. I really don't wanna leave them"
Room goes silent for a second and all I can hear was dad's, heavy, angry breathing. Finally, he says:
"So, that's how it is." He turnes around and leaves the house. He shuts the door behind him.
After the first shock mum smiles at me. She loves pretending that everything is OK now, when I took her side. It makes me sick to my stomach.
"Thanks, sweetie. I really appreciate this," she starts.
"You know I didn't mea-"
"Just fucking leave me alone," I interrupt her. I go upstairs to my room and slam the door.
I know she ment it. She always thought that I was selfish for trying to kill myself. And she is kinda right. She really did everything she could, but I simply don't want to be helped. I don't see any future for myself. I just want to live on alcohol and drugs, self harm when I feel like it and eat bearly enough, till it kills me before I turn 25.
I'm not saying that she's a good parent. As much as my dad abused me phisicly, she did mentally. But this time she was right.
I throw my bag on the floor of my room. I was planning on looking for Aiden, but I changed my mind.
I take my jacket, and put cigarettes, lighter and my wallet in its pocket. Then I open a drawer under my table and reach for a small plastic bag, filled with white powder. I quickly close the drawer and leave the house.
_______________________________
Helja, se opravičujem ker je tako dolgo trajalo, ampak tule je naslednji del:)
*modra*TWs for this chapter:*modra*
drugs, bullying, hate speech and slurs, arguing, family issues, mentions of: selfharm, suicide, smoking
______________________________
*b*Olivia *b*
When I wake up the world around me is dizzy. I sit up carefully. Every inch of my body is hurting. I check the time. I was unconscious for about five minutes. I know that people have passed by in that time, but they simply didn't care enough or even if they did, they were too afraid of Max's anger to help me.
Max was always a bully, but he was also always very popular. He used to be Aiden's best friend, but after Aiden came out, Max completely cut him off and made sure noone wanted to be his friend. And when me and Azar accepted Aiden in our group and supported him, he started taking his anger out on me. He would of course love to beat up Azar or Aiden, I know it, but Aiden is too strong for him and is basically never in school. And Azar on the other hand is so praised by the teachers that he would immediately get in trouble if he would attack them.
So I am the only option left. Aiden and Azar did everything to try and protect me, but I simply don't give enough fucks, for it to actually change anything.
After I'm sure I won't faint again, I slowly stand up. I take a deep breath and start walking home.
***
Ten minutes passes and I'm infront of my house.
I don't even have to step in and I already hear my parents. They're screaming and arguing.
I sigh. Dad is in town again, I realize. I quickly take my shoes of and try to sneak into my room. Unfortunately father notices me as I try to get pass the kitchen.
"Oliva, hey!"
I turn around and pressure a smile on my face. Dad frowns. Great. He saw how beat up I am. He turns to my mum. I know he's gonna put all the blame on her. Before I know it he's back to screaming.
"Don't you see what's happening to our daughter?! She's all beat up! And you do absolutely nothing about it! She should be living with me! And you should be happy that I'm not suing you!"
Mum answers right away, she's not holding back:
"You don't think I tried?! I sent her to every teraphist in this fucking country and she still tries to fucking kill herself! She's a selfish bitch!"
I bite my lip.
"And you think she would be better at yours!? You're a drunk! Or did you forgot how you used to hit us both when you still lived here?!"
"I changed! Liv, tell her! Tell her you want to live with me!"
I know very well that he didn't change a bit. And even tho my mum doesn't give two fucks about me, at least she doesn't hit me all the time. But I really don't want to anger dad even more, so I try and carefully choose my words:
"Dad, listen. I would love to live with you, but I really don't want to move. I have all my friends here. I really don't wanna leave them"
Room goes silent for a second and all I can hear was dad's, heavy, angry breathing. Finally, he says:
"So, that's how it is." He turnes around and leaves the house. He shuts the door behind him.
After the first shock mum smiles at me. She loves pretending that everything is OK now, when I took her side. It makes me sick to my stomach.
"Thanks, sweetie. I really appreciate this," she starts.
"You know I didn't mea-"
"Just fucking leave me alone," I interrupt her. I go upstairs to my room and slam the door.
I know she ment it. She always thought that I was selfish for trying to kill myself. And she is kinda right. She really did everything she could, but I simply don't want to be helped. I don't see any future for myself. I just want to live on alcohol and drugs, self harm when I feel like it and eat bearly enough, till it kills me before I turn 25.
I'm not saying that she's a good parent. As much as my dad abused me phisicly, she did mentally. But this time she was right.
I throw my bag on the floor of my room. I was planning on looking for Aiden, but I changed my mind.
I take my jacket, and put cigarettes, lighter and my wallet in its pocket. Then I open a drawer under my table and reach for a small plastic bag, filled with white powder. I quickly close the drawer and leave the house.
_______________________________
Helja, se opravičujem ker je tako dolgo trajalo, ampak tule je naslednji del:)
Odgovori:
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
Odgovor
Neprimeren odgovor
Nerazumljiv odgovor
super:heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:
0
.jpg "Dekle we can do this")
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
Odgovor
Neprimeren odgovor
Nerazumljiv odgovor
ahhh ne veš kako sem se veselila novega dela. res mi je všeč tvoj slog pisanja, pa tudi kljub temu, da sem že rekla, bom še enkrat povedala - zelo mi je všeč tema, ki si jo izbrala. se mi zdi, da zgodba ne dobi toliko prepoznavnosti tu, ker so vedno mlajši na pilu in tako težka tema ni zanje. ampak starejši med nami (predvsem pa tudi bolj zreli) pa zagotovo uživamo (upam, da ne govorim samo zase haha) tako da go on, ker me res zanima kako se bo odvilo, glede na to, da si omenila da si si blizu s temi temami in vem, da ti je jasno da zadeva ni rešena z enim obiskom pri psihologu :))
1
Hej, hvala, neveš koliko mi pomeni:)
Pa ja, vidim, da so tuka precej mlajši, zato bom pa tudi objavljala na Wattu.
S temami, pa ja sem si blizu in se mi je zdelo, da se veliko premalo o njih govori. Še posebej glede drog. Veliko prevelik je stereotip, da so ljudje, ki se drogirajo avtomatsko slabe osebe.
~Liv
Pa ja, vidim, da so tuka precej mlajši, zato bom pa tudi objavljala na Wattu.
S temami, pa ja sem si blizu in se mi je zdelo, da se veliko premalo o njih govori. Še posebej glede drog. Veliko prevelik je stereotip, da so ljudje, ki se drogirajo avtomatsko slabe osebe.
~Liv
ja... ker ljudje vidijo samo zadrogirano osebo, ki se vede čudno in je avtomatsko označijo za neodgovornega čudaka, nihče pa ne pomisli na razloge, ki so to osebo pripeljali v svet drog
Zabaven odgovor
Najboljši odgovor
Super odgovor
Dober odgovor
Odgovor
Neprimeren odgovor
Nerazumljiv odgovor
naednji del takojjj js zivim za to zgodbooo
0
luv u
Moj odgovor:
Svetloba3714
potrebuje pomoč ali nasvet v
Svetovalnica
Mešanica vsega možnega
Ojla,
moji problemi se kar ne končajo in upam, da mi boste znal pomagat.
1. Sem zelo zaskrbljena, živčna oseba. Skrbi me dobesedno vse. Problem je, ker je zelo živčna tudi moja sestra, ki se je že odselila, zadnje dni pa stalno kliče moje starše in hodi k nam domov. Saj nimam nič proti temu, samo me zelo moti, ker njena zaskrbljenost zelo slabo vpliva name (postanem še jaz živčna). Že brez tega imam dovolj skrbi, če pa je ona doma je pa samo še huje. To sem povedala staršem, pa ne naredijo nič.
2. Letos pri biologiji obravnavamo človeka. To mi je zelo ogabna tema in je ne morem prenašat. Grozno je, ker gre profesorica v detajle, jaz si pa še zapisovat nemorem, ker sem (spet) živčna. Takrat mi srce hitro bije, zelo hitro diham, včasih se mi tudi vrti. To se mi dogaja že prbl. 1 mesec in ne gre na bolje, zdi se mi, da je mogoče še celo slabše. Profesorici ne morem tega povedat, ker je malo posebna.
3. Nisem zadovoljna s svojimi ocenami in se preveč sekiram zaradi šole. Če ne dobim 5 (razen če je to predmet, ki mi res ne gre) se mi dobesedno podre svet. Danes, recimo, smo dobili rezultate testa in sem ga pisala 4 - komaj sem zadržala solze (aja pa tukaj je vredno omembe tole: to je gimnazija). Za šolo se res zelo trudim, mogoče celo preveč. Cele počitnice sem se učila in delala za šolo. Če nekega trenutka ne izkoristim za delo, se mi zdi to potrata časa. Včasih, recimo, je ta potrata lahko že 5 minuten odmor v šoli - zakaj nisem takrat ponovila neke snovi pri zgodovini? (potem me drugi sprašujejo, če sem takrat vprašana in se čudijo, kaj da se učim, če nisem).
Res hvala, če mi boste pomagali<33
moji problemi se kar ne končajo in upam, da mi boste znal pomagat.
1. Sem zelo zaskrbljena, živčna oseba. Skrbi me dobesedno vse. Problem je, ker je zelo živčna tudi moja sestra, ki se je že odselila, zadnje dni pa stalno kliče moje starše in hodi k nam domov. Saj nimam nič proti temu, samo me zelo moti, ker njena zaskrbljenost zelo slabo vpliva name (postanem še jaz živčna). Že brez tega imam dovolj skrbi, če pa je ona doma je pa samo še huje. To sem povedala staršem, pa ne naredijo nič.
2. Letos pri biologiji obravnavamo človeka. To mi je zelo ogabna tema in je ne morem prenašat. Grozno je, ker gre profesorica v detajle, jaz si pa še zapisovat nemorem, ker sem (spet) živčna. Takrat mi srce hitro bije, zelo hitro diham, včasih se mi tudi vrti. To se mi dogaja že prbl. 1 mesec in ne gre na bolje, zdi se mi, da je mogoče še celo slabše. Profesorici ne morem tega povedat, ker je malo posebna.
3. Nisem zadovoljna s svojimi ocenami in se preveč sekiram zaradi šole. Če ne dobim 5 (razen če je to predmet, ki mi res ne gre) se mi dobesedno podre svet. Danes, recimo, smo dobili rezultate testa in sem ga pisala 4 - komaj sem zadržala solze (aja pa tukaj je vredno omembe tole: to je gimnazija). Za šolo se res zelo trudim, mogoče celo preveč. Cele počitnice sem se učila in delala za šolo. Če nekega trenutka ne izkoristim za delo, se mi zdi to potrata časa. Včasih, recimo, je ta potrata lahko že 5 minuten odmor v šoli - zakaj nisem takrat ponovila neke snovi pri zgodovini? (potem me drugi sprašujejo, če sem takrat vprašana in se čudijo, kaj da se učim, če nisem).
Res hvala, če mi boste pomagali<33
Obvestila
1.9.2024
Veliki literarni natečaj "NAJST"
Sodelujte na natečaju "NAJST," ki ga najdete v rubriki FESTIVAL!
Dogodek je del programa bralne kulture, ki ga sofinancira Javna agencija za knjigo Republike Slovenije.
Vprašanje
Kako vam je všeč septembrski Pil?
Zelo mi je všeč.
(315)
Srednje.
(197)
Ni mi všeč, premalo je zanimivih vsebin.
(54)
